Tuesday, January 16, 2018

The One Where I Rant About TV Couples

Ross and Rachel do not belong together. Neither do Big and Carrie. Nor Ted and Robin (ESPECIALLY NOT THEM).

And the fact that these are the TV couples that people rooted for "ending up together" is just so dysfunctional it makes me want to scream.

Let's go through the checklist. (Warning: lots of spoilers ahead.)

Image result for ross and rachel
  • Ross has a huge crush on Rachel in high school.
  • Ross gets the girl 10 years later.
    Super cute.
  • Ross gets unreasonably jealous. Over Rachel pursuing her career (because men work there).
    Really not cute. 
  • Ross sleeps with someone 3 hours into a "break". (Note: not BREAK UP, just break).
    Actually awful.
  • Ross and Rachel stay in the same friend circle through breaking up.
    Awkward at best.
  • Neither of them really moves on. Even though he goes on a date with her sister.
  • Ross and Rachel have a baby.
    I can't comment on this without being an a-hole, so I'll refrain. 
  • Ross and Rachel end up together at the very last moment.
    THE WORST.  
And you see it over and over again.

Image result for sex and the city carrie and big
  • Carrie meets Big. Does he believe in love? "Abso-fuckin-lutely".
    I guess the grown-up version of cute. 
  • Carrie dates Big.
  • Big never wants to get married (again). They break up.
    This is not so bad, they wanted different things. 
  • Big marries a 20-something lady. After saying he never wanted to get married again. He's like Chris-Noth-post-already-had-a-career-in-Law-&-Order old.
  • He's married. She meets Aidan, a man who is just too good for her (note below). They cheat.
  • They go back and forth for the better part of a million years.
  • Neither of them really moves on.
    Sad. Not meant in sympathy, more like pathetic sad. 
  • He realizes no one else in New York City will really have him (because he's tried them all). Goes back to Carrie. Proposes.
  • Oh. Then he leaves her at the altar.
  • But buys her expensive shoes.
    That's how you know it's true love. Then they live happily ever after, obviously. 
RE: Aidan. He is actually the stuff that dream men are made of, and in the show, this is seen as boring.

I'm not ready to get into Ted and Robin. Barney and Robin were good together, as anyone could see and likely the reason the creators spent a whole year leading up to their wedding... Obviously to exploit their audience for ratings, just before doing what they wanted to in the first place. (My only point here is that if they felt their original ending was necessary to keep, then they should have done better work as writers to lead the audience there instead of pandering for the better part of nine years only to in the last minute go in the opposite direction. It's stupid.) 

It's just all unhealthy. And promotes this concept of the best relationships being epic sagas with so much tug and war, that it dilutes the magic of the every day. And it just really annoys me that people buy into this TV BS. 

I know we all know the difference between television, and the cat and mouse chase that makes everything so much more interesting. It's why I won't fully rip on Derek and Meredith. But I wish Monica and Chandler would get their kudos more often. Or Miranda and Steve (who still have a lot of growing pains but you know, not destructive and awful). I do feel Lily and Marshall get their kudos (which is well deserved) because that's about as good as TV love can get. 

/End rant. 

Monday, January 1, 2018


Ever since I can remember, I’ve always loved the idea of newness: fresh starts, new beginnings, starting over.  I’ve always loved New Year’s and my birthday as markers of that moment, where you begin again, and make everything perfect from then on. It's as if at the stroke of midnight, past regrets, pains, missed opportunities are all wiped away. While mostly insane, the concept is reinforced everywhere I look from the covers of magazines or the titles of clickbait articles and gym advertisements which read “New Year, New You”.   

Truth be told, it is a bit ironic, because I’m an organized hoarder who has trouble accepting change and letting go, so chasing the “new” seems out of character even to myself. Last month, I had a lot of new shoved down my throat all at once, most of my own volition, and yet, my instinct was to resist. Doubly ironic because I had recently purchased one of those notebooks with the ever-lame, ever-comforting Meister Eckhart quote “and suddenly you know: it’s time to start something new, and trust the magic of beginnings”.

So, why resist? I wish there was some profound reason, but it is mostly because change takes work. While the appeal of new beginnings is easy to get behind, old habits die hard. Sometimes it is hard to let go because those habits got you to where you are, and if nothing else, they become routine. There is even a sense of comfort in complaining, over the discomfort of enacting change.

But in an effort to grow up and "adult", on the precipice of turning 30, I am (albeit reluctantly) leaning into the idea that while there is no actually starting over, there is embracing change. And when given the chance to do things differently,  all at once from exactly where you are... well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Because “suddenly you know: it’s time to start something new, and trust the magic of new beginnings”.