Monday, January 1, 2018

"New"

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always loved the idea of newness: fresh starts, new beginnings, starting over.  I’ve always loved New Year’s and my birthday as markers of that moment, where you begin again, and make everything perfect from then on. It's as if at the stroke of midnight, past regrets, pains, missed opportunities are all wiped away. While mostly insane, the concept is reinforced everywhere I look from the covers of magazines or the titles of clickbait articles and gym advertisements which read “New Year, New You”.   

Truth be told, it is a bit ironic, because I’m an organized hoarder who has trouble accepting change and letting go, so chasing the “new” seems out of character even to myself. Last month, I had a lot of new shoved down my throat all at once, most of my own volition, and yet, my instinct was to resist. Doubly ironic because I had recently purchased one of those notebooks with the ever-lame, ever-comforting Meister Eckhart quote “and suddenly you know: it’s time to start something new, and trust the magic of beginnings”.

So, why resist? I wish there was some profound reason, but it is mostly because change takes work. While the appeal of new beginnings is easy to get behind, old habits die hard. Sometimes it is hard to let go because those habits got you to where you are, and if nothing else, they become routine. There is even a sense of comfort in complaining, over the discomfort of enacting change.

But in an effort to grow up and "adult", on the precipice of turning 30, I am (albeit reluctantly) leaning into the idea that while there is no actually starting over, there is embracing change. And when given the chance to do things differently,  all at once from exactly where you are... well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Because “suddenly you know: it’s time to start something new, and trust the magic of new beginnings”.  

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